After just under a month of keeping track of my actions while playing games and doing anything else in general, I think I’ve gathered enough material to make another entry in the Sore Loser log. Things begin to get a little more complicated as I begin to put some real thought into kicking this habit, as I find that the problem stems out to far more aspects of my life than just gaming.
Something I’ve found has quite an effect on my temperament during a game that gets particularly heated is how long I’m exposed to certain players. The longer I see the same name come up time and time again each time I get killed, the more likely I am to get frustrated at that single individual and likely things will snowball from then on. TF2’s Nemesis system is a big issue with this as it specifically points out when someone has killed you several times in a row. This seriously exacerbates the situation, especially if I’m in a bitter mood to begin with (and technically should not be playing games in the first place). Switching servers frequently, or whatever is relevant to the game, in order to change the group of players you’re up against, helps to avoid forming grudges that happens so often when playing competitively.
Unfortunately, when playing with friends this isn’t so easy. I find that while playing with friends who I have even the slightest bit of a friendly rivalry with, or any sort of bone to pick… I always get sour when I end up against them. While I will always maintain that for a team to improve the players must play against one another to pick out weaknesses, I’m never doing it again. Even if I fall victim to the annoying autobalancer, I will always switch to spectator as things get ugly quite fast when I’m in such a situation - again even more so when I’m already in a bitter mood, or had an argument with them prior to the match. It’s an effective way of opening old wounds.
While paying close attention to my habits of being a sore loser, I ever increasingly find aspects of everyday life in which such an attitude can have an effect on one’s actions towards others. Most notable of these are arguments or heated discussions. I’ll admit, I’m hardly the most well informed of people. For this reason I often find myself expressing opinions that are either totally wrong, or simply based on wrong or outdated facts, meaning that I simply have to admit defeat in the discussion and accept the other person’s opinion or point of view. This is far harder to do than losing a simple little game, as it’s not something as personal as pitting opinions you formed yourself up against those of another person. Thankfully I hold the rules of logic above all personal aspects of a discussion, so while the losing isn’t particularly easy to cope with, I’m not one to deny the fact that the other person makes more sense, if their argument holds more water than mine.
The more time passes while trying to keep myself aware of this habit, the more I am made aware that the annoyance of losing is likely never going to go away. The best I can do is to cope with it in a mature and responsible way, and not have to kill the mood by being so stuck up about it. Unfortunately even this is a little too hard, as N+ made me painfully aware. No matter what the case, though, there’s nothing that works better than the trusty old “15 minute break” to calm the nerves and get oneself focused again. Playing while frustrated and having lost grip on my anger’s reins is usually a vicious cycle as the frustration makes me play a lot worse, which inherently makes me angrier. Taking those few minutes for a breather usually lets me pick up the pieces and get back on track if I simply must keep playing.
If there was one thing that got me truly motivated to kick this ugly habit however, it was this little video someone was kind enough to capture and share with the rest of us over on youtube. The saddest thing is that I’m actually like that from time to time.
Frag out.
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